The Mad Maverick

Well, it appears that Dwyane found his gonads in time to teabag the Mavs en masse with his enormous chocolate ballz. Funny how those freakish testes could go missing in the first place, but I digress... How many consecutive shots did Wade hit at the close of regulation in last night's game, anyway? 4? 5?? 6??? I lost count, but it seemed he was the only member of the Heat touching the ball in the last 3 or so minutes. Funny thing, I don't think he was doubled much. WTF was that about, Avery?

uh oh....



Avery: Uh.... y-you tell me. What was *your* impression?

Me: uh, (nervous laugh), unfortunately nobody cares about my impression....

Avery: Naw, you tell everybody here, y'know... You tell us. What was your impression?

Me: My impression is that you weren't doubling him much.

Avery: No, that's.... All right. That's a political answer. So, let me ask you the question again: what was your impression of that?

Me: (silence)

Avery: We're waiting...

Me: No double team?

Avery: I'm asking you the question, what was your impression?

Me: I don't know what to say. What do you want me to say?

Avery: Naw, I want you to give all, uh, everybody an hon'ast answer. We got people from Israel, and um, Minnesota, Chicago... all over. Dallas, y'know... Germany....

Me: I'll follow up with another question if that's all right.

Avery: Yeah well... go ahead.

Me: Th-th-th......

Avery: Don't stutter!

Avery Johnson Gets Pissed


Dangerous stuff going toe-to-toe with Avery "go tell it on the mountain" Johnson. But what can I say: aside from the weirdness of not doubling Wade when it counts in regulation, I fully sympathize with the hokey-dokey calls (and non-calls) that, in addition to Wade's masterful performance, gave the Heat advantage in the Finals series. I expect, however, that the basketball gods will make amends and grant the Mavs "deuce!" Dirk and company have earned the right, anyway, having eliminated the defending champions on their homecourt in a game 7. A game 7 in this series is virtually assured. It was my fervent hope to see a game 7, wringing every last bit of basketball from the postseason, and it appears we're well on our way.

David Stern's Wizard of Oz-like grip on the fates of these games notwithstanding, I still like the Mavs in 7.